Everything you need to know about wedding speech etiquette: who speaks when, how long speeches should be, and what topics to avoid at all costs.
Wedding speech etiquette can make or break a reception. Whether you're speaking or attending, understanding the unwritten rules of wedding speeches ensures everyone has a memorable (and comfortable) experience. This complete guide covers everything from speaking order to content guidelines.
Wedding speeches are a cherished tradition, but they come with responsibilities. Get it right, and you'll create heartwarming moments that the couple will treasure forever. Get it wrong, and you might find yourself trending on social media for all the wrong reasons.
Whether you're giving your first wedding speech or you're a seasoned speaker, this guide will help you navigate the complex world of wedding speech etiquette with confidence and grace.
While modern weddings often break tradition, understanding the classic order helps you plan your reception timeline and ensures speeches flow naturally throughout the meal.
Before dinner or first course
Welcome guests, share memories of bride, welcome groom to family
After father of bride
Thank hosts, parents, wedding party; express love for bride
After main course, before dessert
Roast and toast the groom, share friendship stories
After best man
Celebrate the bride, share friendship memories, toast couple
After maid of honor
Additional family members or close friends (keep to 1-2 max)
Many couples now include mothers, siblings, or close friends in the speech lineup. The key is to limit total speeches to 5-6 maximum and communicate the order clearly to all speakers beforehand.
Nothing kills the energy of a wedding reception like speeches that drag on forever. Here's how long each type of speech should last:
The golden rule: If you're unsure about length, err on the side of shorter. A memorable 2-minute speech is infinitely better than a forgettable 8-minute ramble.
Wedding speech content can be tricky to navigate. Here's your complete guide to appropriate and inappropriate topics:
Traditional gendered roles don't apply. Focus on the relationship dynamics rather than conventional expectations. Ask the couple who they'd like to speak and in what order.
Be mindful of complex family dynamics. Stepparents, ex-spouses who remain friendly, and multiple father/mother figures may all want to speak. Work with the couple to create an inclusive plan.
Guests have traveled far and may be tired from travel. Keep speeches shorter and more focused. Consider time zones if streaming for family who couldn't attend.
Be respectful of different cultural traditions around public speaking, alcohol, and family roles. When in doubt, ask the couple or a cultural liaison for guidance.
Not giving a speech? You still have important etiquette responsibilities as a guest:
Sometimes things go wrong. Here's how to handle common speech disasters with grace:
As the couple: Have a trusted friend or wedding planner who can politely signal the speaker.As a guest: Stay patient and supportive—don't make it obvious you're checking the time.
As the MC or best man: You may need to gently interrupt with humor: "Thanks [Name], let's keep it wedding-appropriate!"As the couple: Smile, stay gracious, and address privately later if needed.
Prevention is key—assign a sober friend to monitor. If it happens, gently suggest they speak at the after-party instead. Have a backup person ready to step in with a short toast.
Great wedding speech etiquette comes down to respect—for the couple, the guests, and the occasion. Keep it heartfelt, keep it appropriate, and keep it brief. When in doubt, focus on love, gratitude, and genuine wishes for the couple's happiness.
Follow proper etiquette and create a memorable speech that honors the couple. Our AI speechwriter ensures your speech hits all the right notes while staying appropriate and engaging.
Learn the 5-step formula for writing best man speeches that get standing ovations.
Real maid of honor speeches that perfectly balance emotion and celebration.
Balance tradition with modern family dynamics in your father of bride speech.